Marriage… Commitment is Essential (Part 7)
The Ten Commandments of a Marriage Covenant
| Covenant Between Israel and Yahweh | Covenant Between Wife and Husband |
| 1. No other Gods | 1. Exclusive loyalty to my spouse |
| 2. No graven image | 2. Truthfulness and faithfulness |
| 3. Not taking the Lord’s name in vain | 3. Honoring my spouse in public and private |
The First Commandment of the Sinai covenant summons the Israelites to worship only Yahweh who delivered them from Egyptian bondage: “You shall have no other gods before me” (Ex. 20:3). In this commandment God appeals to us to put Him first in our affections, in harmony with Christ’s injunction to seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness (Matt 6:33). We can violate the spirit of the first commandment by putting our trust and confidence in such human resources as knowledge, wealth, position and people.
Applied to the marriage covenant, the first commandment calls us to give exclusive loyalty to our spouse. In practice, this means making our spouse the most important person in our life after God. It means not allowing such matters as professional pursuits, parents, children, friends, hobbies, and possessions to become our first love and thus take the first place in our affections which is to be reserved for our spouse.
The Second Commandment of the Sinai covenant emphasizes God’s spiritual nature (John 4:24) by prohibiting idolatry: “You shall not make for yourself a graven image . . . you shall not bow down to them or serve them” (Ex 20:4-5).
Applied to the marriage covenant, the second commandment enjoins us to be truthful and faithful to our spouse. Just as we can be unfaithful to God, we can also be unfaithful to our spouse by having false image of her/him in our mind. In practice, this may mean trying to shape our partner into our own image of an “ideal spouse” by nagging or manipulating threats or rewards. It may mean clinging to false images of love relationships with real or fantasy partners. It may also mean making an idol of social relationships outside marriage. This would include forming relationships with friends or relatives that are closer than those with one’s spouse. The second commandment, then, summons us to be truthful and faithful to our spouse by not making idols of anything that can weaken our marriage covenant.
The Third Commandment builds upon the preceding two commandments by inculcating reverence for God: “You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain” (Ex 20:7). Those who serve only the true God and serve Him not through false images or idols but in spirit and truth will show reverence to God by avoiding any careless or unnecessary use of His holy name.
Applied to the marriage covenant, the third commandment summons us to respect and honor our spouses in public and private. In practice, this means respecting our spouses by showing them deference and courtesy both in public and private. It means avoiding belittling our spouses, or cutting them off before the children or on social occasions. It also means not taking our spouses’ presence for granted as though they were just another person. The third commandment, then, enjoins us to show respect toward our spouses by avoiding words or actions that can belittle them and thus weaken our marriage covenants.
Stay tuned, more in coming newsletters.
by Don Callander
